Fake Air, Tight Butts & The Power of Love

GGJ and Cousin Vodka
GGJ and Cousin Vodka

I just returned from my latest adventure.

I went to Las Vegas to help a gorgeous young lady turn 21. Yep, 21 in Las Vegas. We were a motley crew. Two sweet young things (SYT 1 and SYT 2), The Mommas, GGJ, and an Aunt and an Uncle hereby known as Cousin Vodka and Cousin Whiskey.

It was a loose arrangement and for a group that large amazingly flexible. Fun was had by all. Along the way a bunch of stuff happened. We arrived at different times and by various routes. It was like we were planning a caper and had to make sure our true identities could not be traced.

We stayed at the The Flamingo which is a great central location and the price is right if you are planning on spending your money on gambling and drinking and shows. No time for relaxation babies, this was a whirlwind. We upgraded to a Go-Go Room and it was worth it.

Immediately upon arrival we played some slots. I became very fond of a ‘Spartacus’ machine and we spent a lot of time together. Picture a heavily muscled man wearing armor carrying a shield (WE ARE SPARTANS!) whirling around on your screen… Nice!

Over the next 2.5 days I was in a bunch of casinos. Some nicer than others. What was very striking was the difference in air. As in, fake air. I would love to get a behind the scenes tour (hint, hint Vegas people) of how they go about blending and concocting the fake air. Cousin Vodka was with me most of the time and we both liked the air at the Palazzo the best. It reminded us both of a Mediterranean breeze. Very calming and relaxing.

Surprisingly, the air at the Quad was very good as well. Surprising because it is not as upscale as the Palazzo. The Quad air smells like a very clean attractive man. We really liked it.

We spent quite a bit of time at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Casino and bar… of course that air is fantastic! Hints of coconut, salt….why sure, I’d love a Margarita! Why not?

The air at the Bellagio is really good too. We took big hits of air….inhale, exhale… the air smells….expensive… la-di-da. Enjoy it while you can.

The last night we were there we went to see The Thunder from Down Under at the Excalibur. My sister wanted to see the show years ago and I said no, which was a huge mistake. I already told her that on our next trip to Vegas we will go and it will be my treat. It is a super fun show and it should not be missed if you are with a bunch of girls and want to have fun. (Cousin Whiskey didn’t care and did a little gaming while we were at the show.)

The show itself is fun. There is a little something for everyone and it was interesting that we all liked different men the best. Loved the fire man! Ooh-la-la.

At the end of the show you can go up for a picture with the guys. Cousin Vodka and I were at the end of the line and the fire man was giving the instructions of how the picture thing works… we were listening to that Australian accent and gazing at his beautiful body… then we were onstage waiting for our picture to be taken. Cousin Vodka said, “I missed about half of what he said because I was mesmerized by his accent.” Then she poked the ring leader in one of his pectoral muscles with her long pink fingernail and said, “Dang, you sure were a surprise!” For the first time all night, he was speechless. We then climbed upon some super-hot Thunder man laps and had our photo taken. At the end another Thunder guy takes the time to give you some hugs and skin on skin time as you exit the stage. Brilliant! Simply brilliant… everyone feels loved and cared for…plus you get a real photo as well as an emailed photo.

Memories….light the corner of my mind…misty water colored memories. (Cue the music.)

Cousin Vodka had some words of wisdom for the SYT’s. After the show SYT 1 told Cousin Vodka that the long haired hot Thunder man told her he liked how her dress looked on her. Cousin Vodka said, “Did you tell him it would look better on his bedroom floor?” Zinger. Bow-chic-a-bow-bow.

This trip restored my faith in humanity. What????? In Vegas????

GGJ, are you still totally wasted?

Here’s the deal. You would think that it was a recipe for disaster. I kept waiting for the SYT’s to ditch us and go get shit faced and/or need money. It didn’t happen. (Actually, maybe it did happen but I wouldn’t know because I skipped dinner one night and had Corona Lights instead and I was the one that had to go home early.)

The Mommas were super cool too. I saw with my own eyes one of the mommas supply a 100$ bill for two lemon drop shots for the SYT’s and she didn’t even flinch (too much.) They let the little birdies fly. They must have done a good job of parenting because they are fine, just fine.

Cousin Whiskey was instrumental in teaching the SYT’s the ways of the blackjack table and 3 am breakfasts. I hadn’t played for a long time and made some mistakes on the blackjack table. Thanks, Cousin Whiskey for helping me figure it out and sorry we lost …it was fun anyway and those 200$ worth of “free” drinks were tasty. Also, he was good at getting us in cabs and from point A to point B and is a very good tipper. Yay. Love, love, love Cousin Whiskey.

Last but not least I must give some proper love to the head momma (HCH = head cat herder) for organizing the trip. It’s not easy to bring together a bunch of unusual suspects and have it seem like an effortless, spontaneous event. I know that was not the case and she pulled it off. Masterful in every way.

There was a lot of activity, and it was ok to either participate or not. There was no pressure. It was ok to say yes, and it was ok to say no. It was a beautiful thing.

What makes it all work?

The power of love is what makes it work.

Make new friends, but keep the old…. One is Silver and the other Gold.

We were Gold all the way!

Since I got back last night, it would seem like there is some trouble in the world. I think for the right price I could get the motley crew together for a “brain trust” and we could straighten things out. Just let me know.


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I write stories about my life.

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